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[Definitie:] "An ergogenic aid is any substance or phenomenon that enhances performance."
(Wilmore and Costill) 
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1 2 - 0 8 - 2 0 0 5 Canseco's ex on steroids: It affected his ballgame
By Inside Track
Jessica Canseco, the Hooters waitress-turned-wife of steroids king Jose Canseco, bares all – including some juicy details about her marriage – in Playboy's September issue. Ex-Mrs. Canseco, who married the one-time Red Sox slugger in 1996, cut him loose in 2000 after years of physical abuse, philandering and steroid use. The 'roids had serious effects on her hubby's private parts and their love life, she revealed to Playboy. ``It does definitely affect your testicles, that's for sure,'' said Jess. ``Jose's were nonexistent. They were not there. They're not there. It wasn't until we separated and I dated that I realized it.'' After they were married, welcomed daughter Josie Marie and moved into a mega-manse in Florida, Jose's bride discovered her hubby's little black book containing names of hundreds of women and love notes from his more successful conquests. ``There were things like, `Two Girls in Detroit. Strippers. Brown Hair,' '' Jessica told Playboy in the issue that hits newsstands today. ``He'd have to write down descriptions because there were so many of them.'' But despite the heavy hitter's wandering, ahem, eye, his wife said she tried to salvage the marriage by having threesomes, getting plastic surgery and trying to please him in every way possible. However, she had him arrested in 1997 for striking her in the face while riding home from a night on the town. Canseco entered a no-contest plea. They divorced in 2000, but remain friendly and speak every day because of Josie, now 8, Jessica reported to the skin mag. So why is Mrs. Canseco baring all now? It just so happens her tawdry tell-all, ``Juicy: Confessions of a Former Baseball Wife,'' is headed to bookstores Sept. 6. 3 1 - 0 8 - 2 0 0 5 Another view: Some answers from the wife - Jessica Canseco
By GREGORY CLAY WASHINGTON - We have heard from Congress. We have heard from the athletes. We have heard from the media. We have heard from Bud Selig. We have even heard from the movie scene.
But we haven't heard from the spouses - the wives of steroid abusers, alleged or professed - except when an original Charlie's Angel, Jaclyn Smith, played the role of a tormented wife married to a steroid-abusing police officer in the 1994 TV movie ``Cries Unheard: The Donna Yaklich Story.'' Jessica Canseco, now 31, met Jose Canseco in 1993 in Cleveland. The now-infamous baseball star and admitted steroid user was playing for the Texas Rangers at the time. In 1996, they were married when Jose played for the Boston Red Sox. They divorced in 2000 (Tampa Bay Devil Rays and New York Yankees). ``Boston was my favorite baseball city,'' Jessica says. Remember, she lived in five different ones. Now the 5-foot-5, well-toned blond beauty born in the farm country of Ohio lives near UCLA in Los Angeles, and Jose ``only lives 11 miles away,'' says Jessica, who has an 8-year-old daughter, Josie, with the slugger who accumulated 462 home runs in his 17-year career. ``My daughter has a great relationship with him.'' Jessica, the former gymnast and ballerina during her teen years, has written a book, to be released Sept. 6, titled ``Juicy: Confessions of a Former Baseball Wife.'' She is the cover girl and subject of a news-feature article about steroids, baseball and women in the September issue of Playboy magazine, which showcases its Top 25 college football preview (yes, USC is predicted to be No. 1). In May 2004, Playboy also published a lengthy expose about an undercover steroid investigation into San Francisco Giants controversial star Barry Bonds and BALCO. Here, via a telephone interview, Jessica answers some more questions. Question: What was the worst thing about being married to a steroid user? Answer: Maybe the adultery was the worst part. It was hard to deal with at the time. The steroids definitely hurt my marriage. He changed so much. I basically saw him deteriorate before my eyes. I saw the mood swings. I saw the depression. He also had numerous surgeries. He was injured during the season. His career was hurt. I worried about him. Numerous times, I told him to stop (taking steroids). He told me he had to take the steroids for his career. So I had to be the supportive wife. I was taught to hang in there - through thick and thin. It was about Jose all the time. My life revolved around Jose. We traveled around the country. I had to be supportive. Q: What was the best thing about the marriage, at least initially? A: I thought when I met him that the lifestyle was going to be great. I thought he had some good qualities. He liked animals, which was good because I grew up on a farm. He was charming. Then I got stuck in an addictive love situation toward him. I had this idea of love. I thought I loved him. We broke up so many times, then I got sucked back in and we would get together again. If I had to do it over again, I probably would have left in the beginning. You live and learn. And, as they say, if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. I was in depression at times myself while I was married. He wasn't supportive a lot of the times. It was like I was paralyzed sometimes. I couldn't leave. That whole relationship was so dysfunctional. I thought he was drop-dead gorgeous - this big, buff guy. I was training at Hooters in the summer to put myself through college at the University of Akron. Imagine going to school and you meet this famous baseball player. He took me out of Ohio. And you blink and this happens. It happened so fast. Over the years, the more he took steroids the tougher it got. He got traded every year we were together. He was gone eight or nine hours a day, which kind of left me by myself. Some wives have their own things to do, but Jose wouldn't let me. He wanted me to be by his side all the time. He was very jealous. Q: You dated Kansas City Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez at one point after your relationship with Jose. Knowing what you know now, would you marry another pro athlete? A: I would NEVER marry another pro athlete. I like a nice fit, in-shape guy. I don't think I could date another pro athlete now. I don't even want to date an actor now. I don't want someone who is in the limelight at this point. You never say never but at this point no way. I am dating someone now. He's not a pro athlete. He's not an actor. He's a gym owner and personal trainer. So he's in shape, and I must have a guy who is in shape. Q: Did you ever see Jose take steroids? A: I saw Jose take steroids. I really can't talk more about that now. I talk about it in the book. He talked about steroids three or four months into our relationship. I didn't know much about them at the time. Jose was looking for the perfect formula for himself to make himself bigger, better and stronger. He thought he was a chemist. He also loves controversy. His size would fluctuate while he was on steroids. They affected his mind, with the depression. They also affected his body. He couldn't even bend over in the morning. I had to put his socks and shoes on for him. He had to take seven Advil just to mask the pain to get dressed in the morning. Then he would take more medication once he got to the ballpark, just to deal with the pain. Jose was injured so often. It is (steroids) very hard on your liver and joints and tendons. At one point, he was just DH-ing, and he could barely make it through DH-ing. So a team would release him and we'd have to move to another city. Now these poor kids come up and they think they need the steroids to be a better athlete. Q: Did you ever use steroids? A: You have to read the book. Steroids are not for women. They are for people who are sick, trying to recover. I have always been a muscle girl since I was 5 years old. I used to work out with Jose. I have an athletic body. I am 5-5, about 115 pounds. I was in the Miss Fitness America pageant. I placed in the top 10. Q: What is your overall view of steroids? A: I watched the steroid hearings (on Capitol Hill on March 17). A lot of the things said that day, I already knew about. I knew steroids were covered up (years ago). From what I saw when I was married to Jose, steroids were rampant in baseball. I just hope baseball can clean this thing up. Especially with the kids coming up and you hear kids dying because of steroids. Steroids really can cause depression. Jose is lucky he didn't try to kill himself. He's lucky he's still alive. For Josie's sake, I hope he's OK. Q: Do you have any advice for regular women - who are neither as glamorous as you nor with as lavish a lifestyle as you - who must deal with difficult divorce situations? A: Regardless of money or not having money, I lived in a very controlling environment with Jose. He was Cuban and had the whole macho thing. I guess I didn't feel good about myself to leave on my own. I wish I would have gotten therapy sooner. I should have gotten out sooner. I remember taking Xanax, sleeping pills and other pills for anxiety and depression. But pills only mask the pain. They don't really help. Q: Is it really worth dealing with pro athletes on a romantic level? A: You can't group everybody in the same category. When you are with someone, you don't want to believe that your husband will be a cheater. And you always think that you can change him. And, some women will say, ``I don't care if he cheats or not, I just want the lifestyle.'' Looking back, having the Porsche and the house and all that, I would rather have my happiness. Looking back I wouldn't stay just for that. I'd change everything except for my daughter. She's the best thing in my life right now. Q: Did Jose ever physically abuse you during marriage? A: We've had our share of fights. We definitely had a volatile relationship. The emotional abuse was the big thing. I didn't have a life of my own. It was his life. Q: So, what's next? A: Now I am planning on going to nursing school. But I have my book tour to do first. I'm going to Santa Monica College, where I've been taking prerequisite classes. I can't go in the fall because of the book tour. I will go to New York next week for `Good Morning America' and some other shows. We'll go to Chicago and Toronto. We are getting everything lined up. I have my daughter, too, so I will go to school part-time. And I am doing some acting but mostly modeling. I came to L.A. to get into the industry in the first place. After we divorced, I discovered who I am. I had to discover myself. It's great now. |
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