|
|
[Definitie:] "An ergogenic aid is any substance or phenomenon that enhances performance."
(Wilmore and Costill) 
|
|
|
||
|
||
|
2 8 - 0 9 - 2 0 0 5 Muscle escorting
BayGBM As some of you saw in the Gossip thread, John Riggins reportedly passed away this weekend. I’m posting these comments here rather than in the Gossip thread because on the whole, people in this forum (especially our mods) seem to be more open minded to the truth about sex and the reality of life for our body building friends.
JR is the latest in a long line of bodybuilders (hustling to men) to pass away. Some of you may not know this, but it has happened a lot over the last few years. I used to be on a gay muscle board similar to getbigcom, but it was devoted almost exclusively to 1) muscle gossip and 2) to hooking up johns and muscle escorts. I don’t remember how I found that board but I was gay, interested in bodybuilding (lifting and watching), and it seemed harmless enough in the beginning. Over time, though the board seemed to take a turn that I found distasteful--and I said so.
Every time a BB hustler would die (2-3 per year; let’s just say they were never natural deaths) a chorus would go up from the board about how sad it was, how much they “cared” for the individual, and how they wished his family well. I pointed out more than once that their collective requiem rang hollow because they very next day they were back to renting bodybuilders by the hour and writing reviews about who was good in the sac, what they were willing to do sexually, whether they were clock watchers, etc.
If they really 'cared' about these men they would be helping them get back on their feet and out of hustling because all too often escorting was literally a dead end. My concerns were shouted down in a volley of hate mail from the Johns. Eventually, I left that board because 1) I had no interest in hiring escorts and 2) I was interested in actually going to the gym and working out - something most of the guys on that board had no interest in. Why work out for muscles when you can rent them by the hour? I’m sure even now, the guys over on that board are ‘weeping’ over the passing of JR (he was a popular escort over there), but by tonight they will be booking new appointments with other muscle whores. Scott Klein was another muscle escort who croaked in 2002. Unlike many of the others, he seemed to have real BB potential for a while... But he was rumored to have synthol in his triceps.
Whenever the deaths were reported (they were many) on the muscle gossip/escort board, all we were told is that the guy died. If anyone dared to ask HOW the guy died they were immediately smacked down by one of the moderators for asking. Some people were even banned for asking (they eventually came back under new identities). Whether or not one was even allowed to ask about the cause of death became the subject of a thread in itself. Many people, like me, thought the question was a natural one people ask when someone young dies, but there were others who thought asking about the cause of death was evil, sinful, and cause for excommunication. Strange. Androkid was another escort who croaked in 2003. I thought he had good BB potential too. As I recall, Androkid died of a drug overdose. Apprently, we weren't supposed to learn that but that is the news that came down. Mike Betts was another popular muscle escort who croaked in 04. There were quite a few others - for a while there they were dropping like flies--but these three are the ones I happen to remember and have access to photos of. We had many ongoing debates about this on that board. Since I ultimately left that board, I guess you could say I lost the debate, but with few exceptions, I think there IS something wrong with hustling--but not for the reasons you may think. My problem with it, is that the guys who turn to it, very often do it because they don’t think they have other options. It is therefore a desperate undertaking and few people make good decisions when they are in a desperate state of mind. For many hustlers--not all--tricking is an easy way to make money, but in this respect it is seductive and distracts from other avenues with better long term potential. The romantic notion that many escorts and Johns live with is that the escort is socking away all his money, investing in real estate & stocks and will retire next year never having to worry about money again... Maybe someone, somewhere, at some point in history managed to do that, but many more escorts appear to spiral downward into drugs and for most it is a one way trip. In the time I was on that board at least ten muscle escorts turned up dead and none of them died from old age. In most cases, the families of these guys who turn up dead, had no idea what was going on. The Johns post a note of condolence on the escort board and move on to the next muscle whore who suits their fancy. I just checked. That muscle/escort board is still going strong and there is a whole new crop of muscle men selling their wares. In this respect it is very much like competitive body building. For every pro that dies form AAS there are ten guys ready to take his place, certain that they can put together a better cocktail that is more effective and less toxic... until it happens again. Someone, who wishes to remain anonymous, just reminded me about Barry also known as "Totally Huge", the large former football player turned escort who also ended up going nowhere fast. I don't remember the year he died; it was some time around 2000/01. Like I said, for a while there they were dropping like flies. Barry stood out among muscle escorts because he was willing to romp with both men, women, and multiples of both. His website used to note that in addition to individual male clients “couples [were] welcome.” Of course, that would cost extra. As I noted previously, in most cases, we were never told the cause of death and we were repeatedly told that we were not even allowed to ask the cause. I suspect it was drug abuse--i.e. an overdose. With no marketable skills or training and no employment prospects by the time these (straight) guys fall far enough to be tricking with old gay men for money, getting high is all but required to make it through the day and night. What is really sad is that amid all the attention, adulation, and money lavished on them by the Johns (by the way, it’s not that much money) muscle escorts operate under the fiction that they are in near virgin territory and almost no one has ever done this before. They never stop to ask themselves what happened to the muscle escorts that were here before me? Where are they now? Are they living happily ever after? Or are they strung out on drugs, dying, or dead? The answer is almost always the latter, but sometimes people don’t ask questions specifically because they don’t want to know the answers. I’m sure several more escorts have croaked since I left that board, but in the end, no one cares. There are plenty more muscle whores they came from and an endless amount of Johns waiting in the wings. My experience
Posterchild I am very lucky to be able to have gone through "hustling" and come out of it with my life, and without disease. I did not really feel as though I "fit in" anywhere and in my early 20's I successfully auditioned to become an erotic entertainer, dancing for women at b'day and batechelorette parties. At first I was very shy, especially coming from an almost fanatical religious background. Throughout high school I excelled in sports and heavy drug use. Several times I almost overdosed. I cleaned up, and went into dancing. I overcame my shyness and started making money and feeling great at work. Women loved me at work, they loved me when I went into bars and danced. I felt like a rock star. Women screaming for me to take it off, and guys envious of their girlfriends screaming over me. The ego only lasted until I was done with the shows, and there I was again. It was my new drug. After a couple of months a fellow dancer was bragging about making thousands of $$$ dancing at gay bars. I decided to check it out. I had never even thought about gays that much before. I just thought of gays as queeny hair dresser types - until my first night of work. Besides the lack of real women (there were drag queens as the MCs) the place seemed like any other bar. Gay did not have a look. The guys in the bar looked just like guys you would see anywhere. I was nervous, and I went on stage, and loved it. The attention was great. It was quite a boost to the ego to have men hitting on me, even though I was not sexually interested in them. I did great. Very quickly I was the number 1 dancer. I decided when I was going to work, and I decided when to leave. The other dancers hated me because they felt I was making their money. I felt a lot more confident in front of the guys because I did not care. With the women I just felt insecure. I could put a great show on, but my sexual interest in the women made it difficult to "hustle" them. That bar closed and I went to another bar where more hustling was involved. I would not have been able to work the next place in the beginning, but it is amazing how quickly lines are crossed, and what was not ok one day became ok the next. I was making great money for my age I thought, and I decided to move to another state because I could. I could do what I did anywhere. I traveled south, and where I ended up things are much different, and not as conservative as they were up north. I quickly found out that if I wanted to earn as much $$$ as I was before I was going to have to do more. I knew about fetish, and I knew about the gay rage (magazines) and I put an ad in the back. There are plenty of hustlers advertising in these mags, and I was not willing to do the sucking and fucking with guys. I placed a fetish ad. I got lots of calls. I made lots of $$$. I had low self esteem, and I spent the $$$ as fast as I made it. I got back into drugs. I started doing steroids. I felt like total shit. I hated myself. I felt lower than dirt. I got more into the life. I did some solo shots for a couple mags, and even a solo video. I was barely making ends meet, and I hated what I was doing. I did not even stop to think how the hell did I end up into this life. I overdosed on GHB multiple times and I was parting at work (still dancing too). I witnessed some of the more severe stuff that others got into as well. People dying because of their lifestyle. Somehow I managed to get myself out of the life. It has not been easy. I was into that life for 7 years and I learned it was all because of my state of mind. I became ill because of the way I was thinking, the drugs, and the steroids. It has taken a while to pull myself out of what I was into, and I am thankful I did not die during that type of life. Seeing this thread it took me there. I no longer do drugs, or even drink. I do not obsessively work out. I have not done steroids in six years, and I will not do them again. I also realize my state of mind got me into that type of lifestyle. I just work on letting go and accepting others without judgment. It seems as though my life is a lot better now than before. I understand how people cross over invisible lines and end up in situations they may not have wanted to get into, or even imagined. It is easy to do. It takes determination, and a look inside to get out, and few are able to really do it when in that state of mind. |
|
|
